Being a mom can be hard. Being a mom with a chronic illness can be totally overwhelming! Today I’m talking about the 10 things that suck about being a mom with a chronic illness. After that, I’ll discuss some ways to make it better.

10 Things that Suck About Being a Mom with a Chronic Illness:

1. I can’t run around and play with my kids. Sure, I can take them to the park, but then I have to rest on the bench while they run around. My kids see all the other moms running around, and ask me at every doctor visit, “will this doctor be able to make you run again?” And barring a miracle, they never will. That’s not an easy pill to swallow.
2. Talk about swallowing pills, I have so many! Medicines for this, medicines for that, and medicines to stop the problems caused by the other medicines!
3. I’m tired. No, really. I’m TIRED. I’m so tired all the time. No matter how much sleep I get or how much I lie down, my body never feels rested.
4. I’m in pain. Serious pain. Constant pain. The pain makes basic movement difficult. It makes being the mom I always envisioned impossible.
5. Numbers 2 and 3 make me grumpy. I hate being grumpy, I really do. I want to be fun, silly, happy-all-the-time mommy, not this chick. Oh yeah, when I think about it, it makes more grumpy.
6. Number 4 makes me feel GUILTY! Oh, the guilt. If these diseases weren’t eating me up, this guilt surely would be. Some days I almost feel like they’d be better off without me, but only for a second. Because I want to be with those beautiful people. Every. Second. I. Can! But I can’t be with them and do the things I want to, the way I feel I should. #moreguilt
7. People think that since I feel “down” about things, I need an anti-depressant. I do not. I’m not depressed. I am living with those things listed up above and I would much rather have people validate my experience and help me make a plan to get through it all than offer me pills.
8. My relationship with my husband isn’t what it used to be. Seriously. Have you read what’s happening to my body over here? He’s supportive and kind, but I just don’t have energy like I used to. I’m tired, hurting, grumpy, and guilty, that’s not a fun combination to be with. When I think about how I am with him sometimes, the guilt starts in. I detect a pattern here.
9. Sometimes my attitude sucks. I know my attitude should be better. I have a blog about it, I wrote a book about it, and I KNOW it has to be better. For me, for my kids, for my husband. But sometimes, I just have to be allowed to feel what I feel and get it out. I have to be honest and real and let you know that this crap is harder than I ever imagined a consistent way of living ever could be. But what’s the alternative? Right?
10. I worry about what will happen to my young kids if I die early. Will they remember me? Will they have a “new mommy” and love her better? Sound petty? Those thoughts are all to real with those of us that have potentially life-threatening diseases. One more thing–I worry about what will happen to my kids if I do live a long time, slowly losing muscle mass, thus the ability to breathe and swallow. What kind of life is that for a young child to have to watch their mother slowly fade away? And before you say it will build compassion or some other trite response, truly try to imagine it yourself.

Looking over that can get depressing, sure. But did you know that millions of moms suffer from some type of chronic illness? Did you know that until now, there hasn’t been a support system just for us?

I’m living this crazy, chronic life, and I’m creating a new support system because I understand it. I want to help all the other moms out there find the support they need and want. That’s why I’ve started this podcast. The only guests on The Sick Mom’s Guide Podcast are women who have health issues themselves and understand what we’re all dealing with.

I hope this list has helped you understand it too! And if you’re a mom with chronic illness who can relate, there’s finally some support out there for you!

Want to know how to make it better?

There’s a support group over on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/chronicallypositivemoms

There’s a lot more ways to make it better-listen to the episode and find out!

 

Jen’s advice for moms who are living with chronic illness, chronic pain, depression, and anxiety:
Allow yourself to “embrace the suck.” Then let it go & find something positive to focus on. No matter what you’re going through, you CAN find something positive to focus on.

Jen’s superpower today is: letting go of the guilt

Thank you for joining me, please let me know what you think at
Jen

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Our music is “A New Day,” by Scott Holmes

This episode is sponsored by the book, “The Sick Mom’s Guide to Having Fun Again: If I can do it, you can too!” available on Amazon, and all major online booksellers.

Check out this episode!